Sean attends our Community Mental Health Hub, and has recently been a key member of the new Guideposts Football team. He spoke to us about his life and how the team helps him.

Sean’s Story

I have been through depression loads of times throughout my life.

Unfortunately I can’t take medication for it, because I can’t take tablets in any form. Even the soft tablets in liquid, my body and mouth reject them. So I have to take liquid medicine. But when it comes to depression, there isn’t a liquid medicine for it.

So the way I deal with it is I keep it inside myself. I just take it as it comes. I can’t change the way it is.

My life experiences

I have had more bad experiences than most people. I don’t mind saying I have been through a lot in my past, that people shouldn’t have to witness.

Back when we had the London bombings, I was on the back of the coach on the way home from a school trip, and I looked out the back window and I saw the bus explode.

On other occasions, I have seen someone fatally stab themselves in front of me, I had a friend die in my arms with a heart attack, and about 10 years ago I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and I was involved in a gang incident. So I’ve been through a lot.

How I deal with my Mental Health

At the time I just tried to deal with it the best I could, because I don’t like showing my emotion, I’m not good at that.

When I’m out and about and around people, I show a happy face as a front because I don’t want my sadness bringing someone else’s mood down. So I keep everything in.

About Guideposts

At Guideposts there’s people I can talk to, which helps. It is nice just being around other people who, although they haven’t been in the same situations as me, they have some understanding of how I feel.

I come to groups here every weekday, including active groups like playing pool, as well as discussion groups and the rock choir.

“If I didn’t have the support from Guideposts I’d be permanently depressed, but I wouldn’t show it on the outside. I would always keep it sealed in, to myself.”

The football team

When the football group started, I just put my name down as another thing to do. I played at school and a little after that, but not for over 10 years so I thought I’d give it a try again.

The football has got me out. I don’t do much other activity, so it’s nice to get running.

I’m one of the goalkeepers for the Guideposts team. People say I’ve got a real talent for it, but I don’t notice it myself. I just play for the fun.

It’s nice to get out with the team and be on a pitch, normally. We all have a laugh.

I’m not looking for great achievement in football terms. Each week everyone’s improvement is an achievement in itself.

In terms of helping with my mental health, it gives me another thing to focus on.

Our first big tournament

When the chance to play in the Mental Health World Cup at QPR stadium came up, it meant something for me. My stepdad who passed away with cancer was a QPR fan and his daughter used to play for the QPR team. So it meant something special for me. It was nice to be selected for it.

Of all the other teams, we’d had the least amount of training – we had only been training together for about eight weeks. When the day came to play there, I took the day like a normal training day. I was just there for the fun of it, we weren’t expecting to win.

We didn’t win any matches, but we scored goals in the last two matches so it was an achievement as a team. And we showed we can deal with the pressure. I really enjoyed the day.